You know I am the person that is most hard on myself. Today, I am spying this really nice backpack on the web. The past couple weeks I have been selling stuff on eBay to have the money for this pack. I’ve done the work, sold the items, have the cash yet, every time I go to the website to purchase the pack I back out. I even went all the way through the check out process to the page that it says click this button to place your order and canceled out of the page.
What is it? Why can I not give myself the permission to enjoy. Its almost like I’m telling myself that I don’t deserve it. That I haven’t worked hard enough for it. That I still have work to do to “earn” it. I am a decent gift giver but a lousy gift receiver.
Im sure this has to do how I see my Father in heaven. Have I done enough to receive His favor, His love, His acceptance of me? Im sure there are more hoops to jump through somewhere. And yet, how more wrong could I be of His love? He loves to offer me mercy, love, grace, and tenderness.
My prayer is that I would enjoy today more, not looking for hoops to jump through, enjoying my time with my Father.
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“Because I said so”
8 months ago
2 comments:
My friend Wyeth backpacks with a 30 year old big fat flannel sleeping bag; he throws a couple of items in the bottom of it, rolls it up, ties a rope around it, and simply carries it in his arms. There is something free about my friend Wyeth that I've always been jealous of.
I hope by now you have decided to buy the pack. It is okay to purchase that for which you have worked and earned.
Question regarding the Training Grounds program... have any of your guys had a season of poor choices (drugs, drinking, trouble with the law) before they enter your program?
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